WHO IS TO BE BLAMED?

i came across this article, and had to share

Segun had been on my case for at least 2 years.

I met him one hot Saturday as I was waiting for a taxi on Grogner Street in Iwaya, Onike. He pulled over and  asked where I was headed. I don’t ever talk to people on the road but this day, the look of the mist on the window of his air conditioned car made it difficult to ignore him given the extreme heat I was exposed to.
I stepped into his car, grateful for the ride, yet determined to let him know I was no cheap girl that jumps into available cars.

“Thank you so much, Sir, for the ride. I normally wouldn’t do this but I have been standing outside in the sun for at least 30 minutes. The cabs come in trickles and are either taken or too expensive. No one is interested in going my way”

“Where might that be?” He asked, totally ignoring every other thing I had said.

“I’m going to Ikota but I’ll drop off once we get to any major road where I can find a cab”.

“You’re in luck. I’m actually going to VGC but I need to get to Surulere first. So I can either drop you off at a taxi park or you accompany me to Surulere and then I drop you off at your doorstep.”

Inasmuch as I was so eager not to overuse help being rendered, I opted for the latter option. I was in no hurry whatsoever to go my empty home. Mom and dad were on their way to Ikene for a week long engagement and my younger siblings were all in school. My best friend, Mololu had kindly volunteered to spend the week with me but she would not be  getting to mine until Sunday night so that meant I’d be spending Saturday night by myself with only Larry, the dog and Mustafa, the gate man, for company.

I looked at my wristwatch, with its recently cracked screen and declared,

“Well, it’s just 1.00 and I’m not in a hurry so I’ll go with you”.

I got to meet him properly. His name is Segun, a businessman who was into the oil and gas sector. He had been working for himself in Libya before moving to Nigeria  earlier that year. The Nigerian side of his business was only just growing and was already facing major challenges but a meeting he had in Abuja two weeks from our meeting would determine if a major stumbling block would be removed and his license would be granted.  He saw an RCCG band on my wrist and asked me to pray along with him. I promised to.

As he dropped me off at about 4pm that Saturday evening, I felt like I knew him already. Segun was very chatty, divulging a lot so quickly. During those hours we spent together, I also found out that he has a 5 year old daughter by a white French girl he dated all through his university years in France. The lady had gone on to marry another Nigerian and they lived in Port Harcourt with his daughter, Amélie. His dad was long gone and his mom had raised him and his siblings by herself. I did what I do not ever do. I gave him my phone numbers and my pin and from there, we became friends.

The problem with Segun was with his way of showing concern and love. My primary love language is Quality Time and I’m not really the type to get all mushy too early. So it came as a bit of a rude shock to me when I received my first “love you baby”, 2 weeks from the day we met. I really didn’t know what to make of the message and it abruptly ended our chat as I did not respond. To be fair to him, I assumed he was simply overjoyed as he was granted all necessary permits we prayed for, that he spoke out of turn.

About four hours after, at 1 am, I got another message from him telling me how much he’s so into me and how he feels like he has finally found what he had been looking for and if I would be okay being a second mom to his daughter and how he wants me to meet his mom. I read it and responded with a “BRB”. Later in the day, we met up for a meal and then I explained how, though I appreciate his feelings, it was all too soon for me and I would appreciate if I am given a bit more time to be on that kind of level with him. In the meanwhile, I suggested that we remain friends. He looked a bit disappointed but accepted and declared that he was in no hurry and would wait for me however long it took me to realise my feelings for him or develop them.

Segun was extremely generous to me, almost worryingly so. Once he travelled and brought me an orange Hermès’ Birkin 40cm bag which retails for about $2000. I was shocked and despite loving nice stuff, I didn’t want to take it from him initially but I eventually did mentioning it to him that he really didn’t need to spend that much on me and he should focus more on growing his business.

Mololu usually saw one Harrods or Neiman Marcus shopping bag or the other and was always encouraging me to “stop fronting and say yes to Segun before a sharp girl does”. I guess because of the manner in which he approached me, it made me a bit overly cautious since this his asking out was more like a proposal and he seemed so sure of his feelings for me. I slowed things down a lot and outrightly refused to meet his mom for the first three months. I didn’t want to get carried away at all and kept praying and taking things slow. Despite our living so close to each other, I hardly went to his and since I come from a relatively strict home, his visits were sparing as well (of my doing).

About six months after we met, work commitments took him away from Nigeria for a long while. During that period, he would come to Nigeria at least once a month, bombarding me with all manners of gifts. Even when he was not around, he’d randomly have flowers delivered to my office.

He would send handwritten letters by DHL and whenever anyone was travelling to Nigeria, he would have them deliver something to me, however small. There was a time he sent me a bottle of Lucozade because I had lamented that the Nigerian one tasted different. When it came to giving, Segun was without fault. But in my opinion, there was more to consider than how generous a man is.

Sometime, five months ago, Mololu was sent to England for a training to last 3 weeks and she used the opportunity to shop and ended up having 2 extra boxes. She complained over the phone to me telling me the airline was overcharging her and then, partly because I felt it right to help and partly because I had ordered somethings which she was bringing for me, I decided to ask Segun if he could help out since I know he always travelled light and never uses the extra allowance granted to him. He accepted to help bring the extra boxes and I gave her his hotel address to drop them off a day before her flight. He was due in Nigeria a week and half after.

My suspicion was first roused when, upon his arrival, he took the bags to Mololu’s in Ogudu, instead of as I expected, bringing it to me and having us sort ourselves out. I asked for the favour. I mentioned to him that my stuff was included in the box so it came as a surprise to me when he drove all the way to hers the next day to drop the boxes off. When I asked him why he did that, he said the boxes were quite heavy and that he was going that way and decided to drop them off. I had more questions but felt since I was not his girlfriend, there is a limit to the questions I can pose without looking funny. My pride got in the way and I decided not to mention it anymore.

The calls reduced. The texts were shorter. The usual “love you” closing went missing. ‘Mololu too reduced her communication with me. Then one day, she drove to mine and after lunch asked the most random question, ‘Are you and Segun in a relationship?”. She looked like she had struggled to ask that question but at the same time,  as though that was her aim for coming to mine.

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing at all o. Just wondering ’cause you have known him for a while and you said you were praying a while back for direction and was wondering if maybe God said no since you are not dating him”, she mumbled.

“Omololu, did I say we are not dating?”

“Oh sorry. But I kinda know you are not”

At this stage, I know she and Segun must have spoken about our relationship status and so I decided to cut to the chase.

“Did Segun mention it to you himself?”

She looked down and playing with her perfectly manicured nails, said yes. I had noticed she brought a brand new car to mine with a new plate number. She had the black of my Hermes bag too. Wow! I didn’t want to believe what I know just had to be the truth. It was written all over her face. I don’t know where I got the strength but I said not a word after that. Awkwardly, she picked up her bag and car keys. I noticed then it was a Hyundai. It must be the Sonata she always wanted ever since it was released last year. She would always point at every 2011 Sonata she saw on the road and say she’d one day, get it.

To cut the very long tale short, my best friend Omololu and my 2 year old toaster are now together. Segun drove to mine 2 weeks after Omololu did and said somethings to me. He first of all apologised. He said he was not sorry for moving on but sorry that it had to be someone I knew simply because of the sake of his consideration of my feelings and not because it was wrong. He said, as I never for once, declared any form of feelings for him during our almost 2 year friendship, he does not feel he had wronged me in any way. He said he would always be grateful for meeting me as, through me, a door of everlasting joy had been opened to him and he would like my blessing as he walks into it. I was weak.

To be honest, I’m not hundred percent certain which hurts more, the fact that I’m losing a really nice and eligible suitor, that I lost him to a ‘friend’, the sneaky way it happened or the fact that I almost executed the deed for them by creating an enabling environment.

I really wanted to know how it all happened and so I demanded the tale, not from Mololu, but from Segun himself. He told me that the week before he travelled, when he saw her at mine, they had got talking whilst I was in the bathroom and she had mentioned she would be off on training and that she would be doing crazy shopping for her new apartment. They had a few ‘moments’ that day but they did not exchange numbers. It was the day she brought the bags to his hotel that the sparks went flying.

She had gotten to his hotel at about 12 noon and they went to out together and he dropped her off at her hotel at about 9pm. Early the next morning,  at about 5 am, he drove down to her hotel to take her to the airport himself and from their journey, they got even closer. According to him, he knew that morning that he was ‘home’. That conversation sounded painfully familiar and I couldn’t help my grimace. At that juncture, I held up my hands and told him I was satisfied with the information he furnished and that they both have my blessing. He hugged me and left.

That evening, Omololu updated her status with these words “Those that wait on the Lord will rejoice. I rejoice. Behold, my Boaz!”. His picture was her DP. I remember that picture. I took it with his iPhone whilst trying out an app. Each day, a new picture of him would be put on display. There was even one of herself, Segun and his daughter. She had firmly ingrained herself in his life.

Due to how serious I know Segun is, it came as no shock to me when she told me they were getting married and she really wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid though if I felt I could not do it, she would understand. According to her, she was doing that for the friendship we once shared which she hoped we could revive. I refused. But not before letting her know that I could be counted on if she needed any assistance.

At about 12 midnight, I got this email from her,

“Sweetheart, I love you. God knows I do. I apologise for how I might have hurt you but despite all, I would be a liar to say I would or could elect to do things differently if given a second chance.

Oluwasegun has brought me the type of joy I thought was only for the fairy tales. But through him, I have my very own fairy tale. I love him with all my being. I know I might come across as insensitive and selfish. I am sorry. But please, try and find a place in your kind heart to let go of any hurt you might be experiencing and enter into a place of happiness for me, Omololu, your sister and best friend since our Corona days. It should not be heard that we are fighting over a man and remember, my darling, you never were in a relationship with Segun.

You never took the plunge, you shielded your heart from hurt and refused to commit to anything. I know you babes. When you truly love a man, you have no time for such long due diligence exercises. If you want to be sincere with yourself, you would admit that Segun never did anything to your heart. Your heart did not skip beats with the sound of his voice. Your body never quivered with the touch of his hands. I understand you two never even kissed. You clearly never felt love for him.

However, I cannot discount the friendship you shared. Till date, he still goes on and on about how you are the only friend whose loss moved him to his core. I can testify too of your level of regard of your friendship and respect for him. But my dear, friendship and respect are not solid foundation enough upon which to construct a marriage. You knew this and this is why you stalled. What did not grow in 2 years would most likely never grow.

I hope you understand that the aim of this email is not to throw in your face the fact that Oluwasegun and yourself never had anything concrete but to let you take a proper, honest and dispassionate look at goings on. If you do, forgiving me would come, naturally.

I can’t stop loving you dear. I am sad that the vow we made to each other 16 years ago to be each others’ maids of honour even if one got married first would not be fulfilled. Please, re-examine your heart and find a place in it to forgive me.

Yours now and always,

‘Mololu.”

The tears came pouring down. I couldn’t say exactly why and they were not asking. I felt sorry for myself. I felt sad because I really wasn’t crazy about Segun but we could have made it work, I guess. Omololu now was benefitting from all the prayers I invested in Segun, all the fasting. That, more than anything hurt me. I would have married Segun. I just needed him to pass one more test and voila, I’d have said yes to him. I never thought he’d stop loving me. I never though I’d lose him and certainly not to my friend, my supposed best friend.

***

I eventually decided to be her Chief Bridesmaid and muster strength to be happy for her. There was no faking the look of intense joy on her face when I told her I changed my mind. She jumped on me in her usual boisterous fashion, laughing and crying at the same time.

God has been helping me. It has been hard. Especially when I see the look on Segun’s face as he looks at her. He never looked at me that way, I must confess.

His business has been doing greatly and he is sparing nothing for his wedding. His daughter, upon Omololu’s request, will be both the little bride and the flower girl. Omololu’s nephew will be the ringbearer. Her Eli Saab dress is absolutely beautiful. Segun flew us both to England to get it. She asked for a size bigger and I suspect she is pregnant.

With each day, the feeling of hurt and betrayal gets slowly taken over by happiness for her and hope for my own future. I still haven’t met anyone worth reporting on and despite this, I have joy. Not happiness, but joy; joy that all will turn out well. But for now, I still can’t help from asking myself each time I look at Omololu, ‘How could she?!‘

***
coiled from Alabamauncut.

INTERWIEW WITH KWEEN.

The ex-beauty queen and mother of two opens up on her new look, her music and marriage, as well as her latest album, Kweendoncome. She also let us peek into her emotional side and weighed in on the existing feud between her two old friends, D’banj and Don Jazzy.

You have a very different kind of voice and sing different kind of songs. Your collaboration with Pasuma on your first single ‘Oluronbi’ was a boost. Was that part of the plan to quicken your fame with music?

Music is something I have always wanted to do. Everyone says music starts from church, and truly, it did start for me from church. The church gave me some sense of confidence to do what I love to do, which is music. Growing up in church and listening to gospel and everything just made me know that’s what I wanted to do. Singing is almost like you are a message carrier. You are teaching people and they are learning from you. You are touching people’s lives one way or the other, and music has given me the opportunity to do that. It’s been so much fun for me.

What was growing up like for you?

[It was] a very basic life, like every home in Africa. I have six sisters and a brother. I grew up in a place where I was not born. A place called Abeokuta.

Is that the reason for your romance with the Yoruba language, especially since you have infused it into your songs?

Yes, I speak Yoruba fluently, better than my dialect. I grew up there. It’s like my first language, so I do speak it fluently and of course, music is universal, any kind of language can reach people, irrespective of their ethnicity and race.

Would I then be right to say that was why you chose a Yoruba man too?

No. I just found love in a man. People find love in places, they don’t go out and say I want to marry a Yoruba man or an Ibo man. It’s where you find love, and it can be from any state or any colour. Love is the key thing and I found it in a Yoruba man.

Your husband in one word.

An angel. I marvel at his simplicity and gentleness. He’s so supportive and caring. He doesn’t talk negatively about people and he loves everybody. I love him. Our marriage is one that was meant to be. We have been friends for a long time and it just clicked. I love him.

You mention love so much you got me thinking Queen is a very emotional person. Am I right?

I am very emotional. Very very emotional. Things move me. I feel for people, I even feel for myself. When I see things not going the way they should, I get down, I cry. I’m hurt. I see people out there who shouldn’t be suffering and it touches me. It’s human to be emotional.

And would you say being emotional is responsible for your choice of topics and concepts for videos?

Definitely. It is. I look deeper and draw my inspiration from things around me. It takes an emotional person to do that.

You once said in an interview that you ‘jebelise’ men and men don’t jebelise you. Does that make you a heart breaker?

Well, I think I have escaped that now. (laughs) I’m married.

But before you got married, did you jebelise? And how many did you?

If you are not good for me, then go. If you are not true to me, then you might as well get out, because life should be spent with someone you wanna find some peace and some love with. If you are not getting that, why hang around? So in that regards, I jebelise people (laughs)

Talking about heartbreak, it looks as though that’s the trend of things now, especially in Nigerian Entertainment circle. You hear cases of divorce like every other day. How does that make you feel?

Sad. Marriage is supposed to be a thing, an agreement for life. It’s a contract signed before God and should be treated that way, but I won’t say much about other people’s homes, because nobody prays for a broken home, but we also don’t know what they are going through. Is he beating her? Is he cheating on her? So many things cause it.

For you and your husband?

Never! We are going to be together for life. That’s the way it’s supposed to be isn’t it? (laughs).

It’s been over ten years since you started your career and you have only two awards to show for it. Do you think that’s fair or are you being marginalized by organizers of these awards?

They’ve been fair to me; I have to say because at the end of the day, I personally haven’t been that consistent with my music. Most times I fall pregnant in the middle of things and I have to step out. The course of the pregnancy, having the baby, then nursing the baby, and coming back. So I won’t blame the industry for that. Perhaps if that wasn’t the case, I would have done more and gotten more awards to show for it.

Any regrets about that?

No! I have no regrets about my babies and I love them both. They are my bundles of joy.

Who is the father of your first child?

I have only one father for my children.

You look different. What happened to your afro?

I just wanted a new look and a different feel but I still rock my afro any time I have a show or event.

Oluronbi was a video that rocked 2001 and the year after. Was the song and video just a thing of luck?

It was not a thing of luck or just trying. It was well thought and well planned. The song is an old folk song and obviously doing a song like that, one must try and depict it visually in terms of the video. It was not a song I picked randomly to try my luck. I came into music to do what my heart has told me to do and reach people.

Who writes your songs?

I do.

All of your songs?

Not all. I could write all of them. There are some that I wrote alone, and others that I co-wrote.

Tell us about your experience abroad.

My experience has been great, it been a mixture of nursing my kids because anytime I’m there that what I do, I go to nurse my kids and all that. Career wise, [something] that was really cool was working with JJC, D’banj and Don Jazzy, Weird MC. We did a number of international shows there. The experience there was fun. I got to do music while I was there and at the same time, spend time with my kids.

How did you all meet each other and become friends?

It was just a case of recommendation. You go to England and you are like ‘where can I produce my song’ and people say JJC is the guy, you go to the studio and you meet other guys and you have this common bond doing music together, so that’s how it was.

And how is it been so far?

I’m still in touch with all of them, D’banj, Don Jazzy, Weird Mc and even JJC is back in the country.

Weird MC wasn’t at your wedding. Why was that?

It was a listening party. I think she wasn’t in town. It had nothing to do with her not wanting to be around.

Your parents weren’t there either.

They were in England.

Not because they didn’t support it?

(shouts) No! That wasn’t! (laughs)

Tell us about your stint with modelling?

I didn’t really do modelling. I just participated in two beauty pageants while I was in the University. I came second for Miss Abuja and won Miss Tourism.

What’s your take on the feud between D’banj and Don Jazzy?

I think it’s just a shame because that was such a perfect marriage. I wished it lasted, but they are both talented guys. D’banj is awesome, Don Jazzy is fantastic too.

Which one is your favourite?

I like them both. I do like them both because they both have been good to me. Don Jazzy produced Jebele, Come with me, you know, they both have been good to me. I love them both.

Who do you think was at fault?

I was away when the whole thing started. I haven’t read the whole story, just heard and read headlines. I don’t know who was at fault. I think nobody was at fault.

Who do you think would suffer most?

I don’t think anybody will. Do you think so?

Tell us about your Abuja experience.

I relocated to Abuja for studies and at some point I ran a little out of cash, so I had to find a job. Anyways, I had to audition for a female singer for a band called Zuma rock band. I was fortunate to get the job and then I started work in Sheraton as a female singer while I was going to school. It was a great experience. It was a long way from home, away from father and mother and all family members, but I followed my heart and chose music.

How did the experiences you gathered while singing at Sheraton help you in your quest to become a super star?

I don’t know about being a super star. I just know about being. It was just another part of my life, a stepping stone it was for me. It taught me to be a live performer, to be confident and shaped my kind of music and how to reach the audience I wanted to play for.

A popular blog named suggested you as one of the top ten sexiest mothers in Nigeria.

Are you serious? I didn’t even know about that. Hugs and kisses. Thanks to my fans.

Do you consider yourself sexy?

Yes, well in the context of wearing what suits me and feel comfortable with myself, I think I’m sexy. Or let me not say so, so you don’t think am proud. I’m not sexy o! (laughs)

What’s happening to KQ?

That’s a plan for the nearest future, I don’t want to go into it right now I have a lot of things on my hands. I’m working on promoting my album.

Let’s talk about fashion for you. You used to be one person easily recognized for her love for Ankara. Is there any reason for that?

I wanted to be different, besides, I love Ankara. I love the African print, it makes you look different and you can do so much with it. For my music, I wanted to create a brand as well, so I put all of that into perception and chose Ankara. If you see me on a red carpet, on the stage or on TV, you’re gonna see me in my (demonstrates) Afrocentrical, did I pronounce that well? (laughs)

After you had released Oluronbi and Jebele, you went on a low and then Muma Gee came up with something that looks like your concept. Do you think she was trying to ride on your fame?

How do you know she’s not like that before? She could have been like that all her life, so I don’t really think Muma Gee was trying to copy me. In a nut shell, if it’s that way you said it, then it’s a positive thing. I was able to launch out a style and somebody loved it. It’s not a problem that people wanna do what you do. There’s Michael Jackson and there are so many people till date who still dress like him, the hair, the glasses, the dance move, the voice, so I think it’s nice.

So you started it and she followed?

I don’t know if she followed. Please don’t make me say that. But its positive, don’t you think so? (laughs)

In one of your interviews, you said something about wanting to be like Asa. Why is that?

I don’t really think that should be a problem. It’s not a problem that I appreciate a younger artiste. I love her choice of songs and the depth. I respect Asa any day.

So we should be looking at the possibility of collaboration with her?

Possibly. If the opportunity presents itself, why not? I would love to.

What is your favourite colour?

I don’t really have a favourite colour.

Favourite drink?

Water. Water is the best drink for your body. Everything else is some sort of chemical going into your body. I’m not saying I don’t drink all other things, champagne, wine or soft drinks, but water is the best for me.

Favourite hangout spot?

I’d say my house. If am not doing anything work-related, I’m at home.

Your latest album Kweendoncome hasn’t really hit it as expected. What do you think is the cause of that?

That’s the project am on right now. We are making efforts to get it to reach as many as possible.

What are the things you think are not working right in the music industry?

A lot, but most importantly, it’s the piracy. It’s really eating deep and not allowing people who have labored and suffered to write and record songs make gains from their sweat. It’s really terrible.

You’ve been in the music industry for over ten years. What would you say is your most memorable moment?

My awards. The NMVA and the SMVA. They were just the highlight of my career. It made me feel appreciated, it made me feel accepted. It made me feel, you’ve done well Kween, a pat on the back.

And the sad moments?

Not being able to get the job done as effective and efficiently as you expect it to be because there are a lot of issues you face as an artiste.

In the past ten years, what are the changes you have observed?

A lot, a lot, I must say. There is a lot of acceptance and respect for music and musicians nowadays, compared to how it was then. Indigenous companies now support Nigerian music, which I think is great. Also, collaborations with International artistes is another. Before, parents never used to allow their kids try out music or arts, but its changed now. Again, there are more females in the system and am really glad about that as well.

You just mentioned involvements if ladies as one of the changes that you have observed, but the industry still seems to be male-dominated.

That’s another thing. I have no idea as to why it happens but I think it’s the wrong conception that people have, but it has to be different because the girls are doing well. They are churning out good music and why not give them a listening ear too.

Some say the ladies feel that to succeed, they must show cleavage and pop their backsides, do you agree with them?

That’s not necessary, but if they think it works for them, fine. But it’s not necessary.

Would you do that?

Why should I wanna show? Your body is not your music. The music is what’s in there that you wanna voice out. It’s not to say you shouldn’t look presentable or sexy, but sexy shouldn’t be distasteful. It should be pleasant, but when you overdo it…

You led the way for female musicians about ten years ago. Now, the likes of Omawunmi, Tiwa Savage and others have taken over and attention has been diverted. How do you feel about that?

I would not say that, like I said its consistency. If you are away, definitely all these things would come up. That is constant. If you sit back, life will continue, and for me, I had to take out time to be a mum, a wife and that took several years of being away. What do you expect, people gonna wait for me? Not really. I mean, my fans will still be there but it’s okay. When you come back, you should be able to continue and now I’m back, with new material. Besides, we have to know that there is a space for everybody, Tiwa, Omawunmi, Waje and other beautiful talented colleagues of mine cannot serve the whole country. It’s such a huge country, in fact we need more women. I’ve got my own crowd and they’ve got theirs.

Do you think by now, your genre is a little out-dated, considering that the more ‘pop’ sound is currently reigning?

I’m not gonna change who I am as an artiste because of the pressure or the trend. Never. I’ll stick to myself, that’s my originality. That is me. That’s not to say that I might not allow certain kind of collaborations that would better my music, but it’s not like I am going to change because everybody is. I’m not pressured by any reason to do that.

When should your fans expect your next album?

My next album will be dropping like next year, but I’m presently working on promoting the latest one, Kweendoncome.

NET is going to be two in few weeks, any special words for us?

To start with, Ayeni the Great is my very good friend. We call him ‘the Great’ and he has proven to be over time. The newspaper is one that I really cherish and appreciate. I make sure I buy it anytime I can because it’s informative and contains truth. It’s the paper I turn to anytime I wanna read about happenings in the entertainment circle in Nigeria. I can only wish you guys plenty more years and pray that God continues to progress you.

shareshare

NOLLYWOOD DIVA NSE IKPE ETIM TELLS US ABOUT HERSELF.

A diva with eloquent diction, Nse Ikpe-Etim speaks on her family, job and why she not yet married

Who is Nse Ikpe- Etim off stage?

Imperfect. I am a person that wants stuff to be the way they should be. I might not get that all the time, because I know I’m imperfect and I’m just trying to make it better.

How was growing up for you?

Growing up was very good for me. I enjoyed my childhood a lot because I come from a close-knit family and a lot of love abound. My dad and mother encouraged us a lot to always speak our minds. Over the years, I have tried to be diplomatic about things. Growing up made me realize that there was no need to furnish anything, it is either black or white, but I have started seeing grey areas now (smiles). There was a period I didn’t grow up with my parents; I got that kind of mentality from my Godparents, who were foreigners, I lived with them a lot. That also created another thing for me. So rather than have toys, my father gave me books to read. I played with gravel a lot! (Laughing).

You said you didn’t grow up with your parents at a particular time, why was it so?

Well because my mother was in school and she was very young and my God mother decided to keep me to herself.

What is your educational background?

Yes I went to school, where do you want me to start? Nursery school? I went to Awa Nursery School in Kaduna. I went to Command Primary School, Kaduna. I went to Command Primary School in Jos, I also attended St. Louis College in Jos, went to FGC College in Jos for about a year. I went just for a term and then I finally went to Federal Government College Ilorin. In JSS2 and don’t ask me why that was (laughing) because my dad worked for the central bank of Nigeria and each time he was sent on transfer, we move with him. My growing up was interesting because I got a little of people’s culture even though living in the GRA will not really ‘make you’. You know in those days, it was not really as if you were living amongst people, but I still learnt a bit from school.

Which university did you attend?

Yeah! I remember that one because I almost forgot I went to the university. (Laughing) I went to the University of Calabar.

Are you from Cross Rivers?

No, I’m from Akwa Ibom

What did you study?

Theatre arts

Your first day on set, how was it?

Now which of the first day? Because I have had two first days on set. Now is it from the early days when I first came in, or my come back which was Reloaded by Emem Isong? Which one of them?

Let’s have the first one because I still have a question on RELOADED

Reloaded (smiling)…For the first one, my first day on set wasn’t anything spectacular. I did it, you know fresh out of school. You are thinking about a lot of things. You know you are not sure, and then being a rebel, I didn’t want to be a banker, which was what my mother wanted me to do. So this was my way of saying, I’m not going to do what she wants me to do. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. But it was just a case of ‘okay, just try’. And then I tried. The set I enjoyed back then was when I did ‘Scars of Womanhood’ with Basorge Tariah Jnr. Then in 2009 I now did Reloaded. And I always say my coming back into the industry was not designed and planned. My passion and hobby has always been my kitchen, writing and all that. For me, I was writing here and there. Emem brought a script and I’m looking at it like ‘what can we do because I want to play this role’. And then she starts cursing me in my kitchen. And I said to her what is wrong with you; I’m not an actor. And of course she said I didn’t have faith in myself and all sort of stuff. And I said ‘okay’ and finally she was able to convince me and I did it.

Is it that you used to run a kitchen or you still run it?

I didn’t have a kitchen I was running. I was working from home. So I delivered food to people and for big events, usually private parties. People like my cooking, it is fun. It is something I like doing.

So you cook very well?

I don’t know, but I think people like the food (laughing)

How do you choose the movie you feature in? I mean the criteria you use

The script is what informs the choice of movie. And then, on the other hand, maybe I should say this: I think I’m lazy (laughing), so I end up not doing a lot. I must say it is not easy. It is not easy to do a lot of movies at the same time, so I work with the scripts. I choose my script basically.

A lot of people see you as a star; do you see yourself as one?

No, I’m not a star. I’m just a working actor. Being a ‘movie star’ is not what defines me as a person. What defines me is the smile I’m able to put on someone’s face. The fact that I can say sorry when I can, the fact that I can stay through with my friends and family, that is basically it. It has nothing to do with my job. My job is my job.

Was it because you studied theatre arts that made you go in to acting or you got inspiration from somewhere?

No, it wasn’t because I read theatre arts. When I even did theatre arts in school, I didn’t major in dance, acting, drama criticism, or directing. I majored in administration, meaning it was the business side of it I wanted. So the fact I’m in the front of the camera is just something I can’t understand.

But are you enjoying it?

I guess it is my job. I love my job. Enjoying? It comes with its own topping.

Like?

When you say toppings, some toppings might not be so palatable but I guess you get to eat them. So that is the kind of topping I’m talking about. (Laughs)

What is the worst set you’ve been on?

I think every set has its own peculiarities. I don’t think anyone has been bad and so it depends on the kind of energy that you are preparing to give out. So whatever energy you give is what you are going to give out. My output is based on what I get. It’s based on the surroundings. So if you give me something bad, I won’t do well. But for me, it has been good. I don’t think I’ve ever been on any bad set.

Most challenging roles

Let me say that my most challenging role hasn’t come yet. I am grateful to the directors I have worked with and their impact on me. I am also grateful for those productions, but I still think that we can go further. I haven’t reached the point that I will say I can’t do this anymore. So I think I still have the most challenging roles ahead of me. It is still yet to come.

On the set of the movie Phone Swap, we learned you were injured. How did it happen?

I had already fallen off from the bike while filming two days before on set. So I was still a bit sore. And so the next day I tried to pick up a phone which was ringing, and when I stretched to pick it, I slipped and fell. I am grateful to the people who came to my rescue at that time. I shall not mention their names but I say thank you to all of them. Thank you… (laughs)

Tells us about the role you played in the movie

Mary abi Mary? (Switches to local accent) Mary the tailor (hums). You know people that are tailors like to wear clothes. So the girl was wearing her thing.

Now you spoke in Ibo language. Was it because of the movie you learnt Igbo language or you speak normally?

(Nse cuts in) I speak Igbo. I speak a bit of every language, but speaking the Owerri dialect… no.

So how long did it take you to learn the language?

I had the script for over a year, so I kept going back and forth but then learning the language took me six weeks. I had a girl, Uche Benjamin, who helped me a lot in translation.

Congratulations on your nomination for AMAA in MR & MRS. So what are your expectations? Are you hoping to win?

Thank you. For me, a nomination is good as a win. It is not about the accolades that come with the work. But I did do good work. That is what it is all about, and for me, that is a win.

You are mostly seen on Emem Isong’s set. Do you have any personal relationship with her?

She has been a friend for years. Back before she became a household name, which is why she can sit me down and insult me (laughs). But I have done other productions apart from hers. She knows a lot of people, and she’s got the publicity. But I have done other works and when I’m not doing her work, people turn around and say we are quarreling. Any producer that comes to me and I like the work, I will do it. It is not about the person.

In ‘Reloaded’, your character was a funny one. You tailed your husband everywhere.

(Cuts in) So? Women do it.

Now the question is this, how do you get into roles so well?

I follow the school of thought of Konstantin Stanislavski, he is the father of method acting, and also Stella Adler. I also believe in the spirituality of acting. So when I get a script, apart from what my director is planning to draw for me, I go to the drawing board, I imagine a lot of things. I dig up experiences which might not be my own. Things I have heard and I create the character. Acting is not exactly doing what the director wants you to do. Any time I watch the film, I can’t help but laugh. (laughs). I think it was a funny role.

If you have an opportunity to feature in Hollywood movies would you?

Yes I would. I also think we have to conquer our own first. It is a prayer we all pray. That God enlarges our coast. Your coast is where you want to be and I’m home now, this is my coast. If the prayer is answered, fine. But I cannot be something here and want to be something else, elsewhere. Much as they say a prophet is not honoured in her own town, but trust me, I’m not saying I prefer Nollywood. I can’t say I don’t want Hollywood either. But rather than focus on that, I’m focusing on my work.

With the nature of your job, what kind of a man will you like to marry?

Recently I asked someone ‘did you come to this world to come and be married?’.

A lot of people ask me. When are you getting married? Time is not on your side. For me, I don’t know. It is whatever God wishes. I wasn’t born to get married, so I don’t need to rush.

Which school of thought do you believe in, sex before marriage or vice versa?

I’m of the school of thought that you should do what you want to do according to what you believe in. Whatever you believe in and that works for you, do it. What I believe in is ‘live and let live’. I try as much as possible to abide by the rules of life.

So you are saying you don’t have any relationship at the moment?

No I don’t have any relationship at the moment. It is sad abi? But I am happy. I’m happy.

What kind of relationship would you prefer?

I like to be happy, if I were to be happy I want to have a peaceful home. I don’t think anyone wants a turbulent marriage. I don’t want to do things because others are doing.

What’s your Relationship with your colleagues?

I respect everybody’s work. The way you will interpret a work is different from mine. That is what acting is all about. We are different. I have a cordial relationship with everyone.

You are not having any rift with any one?

Where does it want to come from? Are you heading to Monalisa’s story? Please I said I won’t say anything about it. I’m not having fight with anyone ooo. But why should there be a fight. I’m not a spring chicken, so what am I going around fighting for. I don’t have the time.

Are you permanently based in Lagos now?

Yes. I’m not going back to Abuja any time soon, knowing that I like to run away. At least, for the next three years, I know I will be here.

Where you into banking before?

Yes, they are both defunct banks now. I worked with FTB bank, and then Bank PHB. I’m no longer a banker.

Any new movies for your fans after Phone Swap?

Next production is with Temple Productions. There is a title but I don’t want to let it out of the bag

How do you relax?

Sometimes I go dancing. I like to play games. Board games: Scrabble. I also love cooking, writing but I’m not such a great writer.

NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS STEPHANIE OKEREKE AND LINUS IDAHOSA FAIRYTALE WEDDING.

 Nollywood actress Stephenie okereke says I DO to her heart-throb Linus idahosa! 

the wedding was held in a dreamlike 16th century castle in Cernay, Paris, France on the 21 april 2012. you can say our girl got a fairytale wedding.

About 400 close colleagues and friends of the actress from all over the world attended.

It was the sort of dream wedding the actress has always fantasized about, and the aura of Paris and the fairytale castle further helps to deepen that romantic and enchanting feeling as she enters into matrimony.

the couple made their affair public in 2010. not much longer Stephenie's heart-throb Linus took a bold step and proposed to the actress on a dinner date at a posh location in Ikoyi, Lagos.

The wedding between Stephanie and Idahosa Linus was estimated at almost N100 million!

The Nollywood's newest and hottest bride, Mrs. Stephanie Idahosa, in a chat with newsmen said words cannot express her feelings on the huge success recorded at the wedding with her heartthrob, Mr. Linus. she also gave special thanks to her family, friends and fans, stating how she always wanted a fairytale wedding even as a child, she thanked her husband for making her dream come true.

 

“I've always dreamt of a fairytale wedding, especially as a child growing up. I've always imagined a fairytale wedding with my prince charming in a castle on an Island. And thank God that my husband finally made that possible inside this 16th century castle in Cernay, Paris, France.

It was a fairytale dream come true.

It's the ambiance fairy-tale like. It is reminiscent of culture, of peace and love; something away from the chaos we get used, something fresh, new and different

It's a beautiful feeling to be in love and be with the one person you wish to spend the rest of your life with"

 

Stephanie concluded by telling us what women really want in marriage

"Love, peace, security. A man to share your dreams with. One who truly respects you and sees beyond just your beauty but your true essence. A real man with real values"